Special report

Battling the bulge

JOIN Miles Skinner as he attempts to shed the stones and stub out the cigarettes for good... will he succeed?

Going great lengths to get into the swim of things

BACK on track - or the lane at least. When I say I'm crawling back into exercise and diet, I mean so without a hint of laziness.

Manana ...

MANANA, manana, manana ... I'm not far enough away from recent feelings of health and vitality not to feel like a worthless burden on my 'big bones'.

Get back on track or go off the rails

LIKE a round cowboy who ate too much buffalo and bounced out of his canvas fridge when it rode over a stone, I have fallen off the wagon.

Going through the pain barrier

OW! It's not natural. Pulling and pushing bits of metal like the flabbiest machine on a factory assembly line, wheezing like a restaurant-reviewing hamster on a treadmill...then waddling my aching frame to be thrown around and pummelled in a karate dojo.